A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND

I'm pretty sure daycare workers put in a full day...and chicken pluckers, too.  But I'll say one thing, my husband is the hardest worker that I've ever known.  And this week I have the privilege to say that I've been sharing Mike's name for forty years.

Work ethic certainly was not what attracted me to him at first.  Who thinks about work ethic when a guy has dark hair and blue eyes like Sean Connery?  All I knew was the bottom of my stomach fell out when I was around Mike.  Now THERE'S a measuring stick for determining your life mate.

Even from our earliest days, I have been a bit intimidated by my husband's intelligence.  He's smart AND he can fix things.  That was new to me because my Daddy was funny, but not so handy.  Still, Mike didn't seem to understand interpersonal relationships like I thought I did and that made me feel needed.

Phase Two began all too soon as we discovered our differences.  Surprise!  We began to push and pull on each other to be more like the other.  Why IS that when we used to be attracted to the differences?  When Phase Two ended, we had put out the fire.  Guilt was thick like smoke in the air.  Our fussing was frustrating because Mike was a peacemaker and had to be picked on to fight.  Then, even with all his intelligence, he didn't really know what the fight was about and so he could hardly spar effectively.  We went to our corners and pretty much were resigned to a perpetual sulk.

In the fall of 1979 the Cruses had been married nine years and had two kiddos.  My hopelessness caused me to finally say "yes" to a friend who year after year had asked me to go to a Bible study.  The fact that she even asked me...insulted me.  Why did she think I needed a Bible study when I was very involved at my church?  But I swallowed my pride and went and for the first time, cracked open a Bible.  It wasn't long before I met the Savior.  I know it's strange to be in church all of your life and never know how to come to Christ, but that's what happened.

Now Christmas was coming and Mike and I typically saved our biggest fuss fights for the holidays.  After that Christmas, Mike was miserable enough to agree to go to the men's class of this non-denominational study (BSF).  By that spring, he had prayed to receive Christ.  Now we came to realize that we actually had a LOT in common.  We are both high-control and willful.  We are both the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son...wanting to "do the right thing" but not "be the right thing".  Our self-righteousness was such a stink in God's nostrils.  
The Lord wants a love relationship, not a duty one. 

When Mike and I look back at our early years, we are amazed that we got through our yucky stuff without legal proceedings.  The funny thing was that even in our darkest misery, neither of us wanted that.  We were just glum and didn't know how to spell relief.

My husband is a dear man.  Over the next years, he figured out his gifting and realized his chosen profession was pretty much of an irritant to his peacemakers heart.  Lawyers and conflict seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly.  After retiring from that 30 year career and from the Air Guard, Mike began his third career as he went to work for our church.  The next ten years gave my husband work he never dreamed could be so fulfilling.  Only the God who made Mike with certain talents... could then make the work that perfectly utilized the same talents.

Our church was always building or remodeling and Mike was the liaison between the church and the construction company.  He operated with a checklist and a hardhat.  He had never done that kind of work, and so each morning before his feet hit the floor, he was asking for help.  God waits for that!   The year before we moved to Fayetteville, Fellowship Bible Church bought land and relocated.  Mike was on his knees a lot that year because it was a 51 million dollar project with a small time-window.  But what a perfect caboose for his work life!

Caboose?  True persister/achievers don't retire.  We bought a house in Fayetteville and Mike was on the job again (7a.m. to 7p.m.), coordinating workmen to take it down to the drywall and back up again.  In two months.  Now Mike's going to bed at night and waking up with our new church on his mind...

This October Mike went to his 50th high school reunion in Jonesboro.  He was co-salutatorian of his class and editor of the yearbook, but I'm attracted to something else about him.  I love how he gives of his time and money to God things.  He has an adventurous side that takes him to a mountain top in British Columbia to shoot a bighorn sheep, yet I trust his responsible side that is conscientious and reliable.  He is a weight-bearing wall in our relationship.  He loves and serves his family; he gets teary when he talks about what God has done in his life.

I have a friend who speaks about her husband as Jesus with skin on.  That is not intended to be irreverent.  Literally, God provides for us through earthly relationships and Mike is my LOCAL protector/provider.  God gave me a godly mate, but we sure didn't start out our relationship that way.

When I think of how we hurt one another in the days before Christ, I am so grateful for the power the Lord gives us to forgive one another...and for His power described in Romans 4.17b.  It says He calls into being that which does not exist.  For Mike and I, that meant He put love back into our hearts.

Happy Fortieth, Mike Cruse.  You are Numero Uno on my speed dial.