TEACHER FUNK

A trip to the Kroger deli today put this old teacher in a funk. All I wanted...all I asked for...was two-thirds of a pound of corned beef.

A very pleasant clerk came to slice the corned beef. He was a big man and we joked about O.J. Simpson as he tried to put on small gloves. Then he chatted about the tragedy of Michael Jackson's death. He said it took him back to the 50's when he was in his car and heard the announcement of Elvis' death. Yesterday he was also in his car when the announcement came of the death of the tortured King of Pop.

This tedious story now brings us to a tiny pile of corned beef and the deli clerk asking "will that be all?" I looked back at the amount and it registered .33. Slowly (because I had no intention of humiliating him) I said "I would like two-thirds of a pound". He checked and said "that's what ya got". Then he hesitated and I shuffled my feet, thinking he would realize what he had said.

Then he told me that although he had a college education, he would call over a grey-haired lady because she knew everything about what was in the store. The lady said "why are you asking me? I only went to high school." Then she studied it and still I waited, red-faced for them both.

The two waiting customers behind me now entered into the quagmire. One said "is that scale counted in ounces?" And again the two clerks conferred. The man said "well, I've been cheating my customers then, because when they asked for two-thirds, that's what I gave them". Thank goodness the machine would have figured up the cost of one-third of a pound.

I couldn't stand it and gently said ".33 is one-third...and I need two-thirds". The man was still not getting "there", as he mumbled numbers aloud to himself. The older lady said "well, I guess I'd give her a half".

Now understand my disclaimer: I get confused on a regular basis and I am not known for my math skills. But my schoolteacher side finally swelled up and stepped on my sensitive side....and I said "if .33 is one third, double that would be .66...so two-thirds is .66".

This afternoon, four people had an epiphany in the Kroger aisle. But I came away depressed. Even though education was my chosen profession, I'm just glad education is not the answer to the question about what is most important. The Lord does not rank people according to their knowledge of FACTS, but according to their knowledge of HIM.

"And this is the way to have eternal life - to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth." John 17:3 NLT